Boston Tweetup or East Coast Elitism?

Please let me first say, I have no firsthand knowledge of any of the events occurring over the weekend or any personal relationship with anyone involved. That said, I still am a highly opinionated person and have ideas to share, so please keep reading.
I’m shocked at the responses about the Boston Tweetup over the weekend. Many of those in attendance are people I follow on Twitter and now on Tumblr & Favrd. I can’t imagine that any of these forward-thinking, educated, and witty individuals would intentionally exclude anyone from an event. I suspect the entire get-together began with two people deciding they should meet. Naturally, the conversation would likely progress into “Well, should we invite so-and-so? Who else?…” and so on. Eventually, as the list grew I can imagine they realized they had to cut it off and kept it to individuals they a.) knew well b.) thought would enjoy the company of those on the invitation list and c.) would feel welcome, want to meet this group and have something to share.

This is all conjecture of course but I just find it remarkable that something so very innocent could suddenly be the source of tremendous drama and hurt feelings. I can understand anytime exclusivity is involved, the natural presumption is that it concerns sexism, racism, or something of the sort. Quite possibly, we’ve all become hyper-sensitive to exclusivity because it takes us back to the high school years. We didn’t want to be excluded from anything and it made us feel inferior. I still lament at the fact that I was kicked off of prom court to make space for another girl (a minority) but I feel that it probably served that girl so very much more than it would have offered me. In the end, it was HIGH SCHOOL and the damage to my psyche was minimal in contrast to what I have faced every day since. Today, I’m not invited to all the events hosted by my very close friends. Sometimes, after they’re together they realize an invitation would have been a good idea and my presence is certainly missed. The thing is, I’m an adult and I know my value extends beyond what I am or I’m not invited to attend.

All I’ve read from those with a complaint over the injustice of the Boston Tweetup seems really petty, juvenile, and misplaced. While I have no doubt the feelings are genuine, and the hurt is tremendously unfortunate, the reality is IT WASN’T ABOUT YOU. This small group decided to get together. That’s it! So who cares if you weren’t invited? Put on your big girl pants & get over it. Stop whining…and if you had a significant other attend the event without you and you wanted to go…doesn’t the responsibility to you lie with the significant other and not the hosts of the event?

My intent is not to diminish anyone or their feelings but to point out that in the bigger scheme of life, this event is small and insignificant. It offered tremendous opportunity to those in attendance and hopefully a memorable experience. To those NOT invited, it offered you time to do something worthwhile to your OWN life and to better yourself. You’re an adult and can have the initiative to create your own world, your own social life, and find personal activities with value for you. Why lament not attending one event and presume it was something elitist when you can do something far more fulfilling for yourself?

I do want to recognize the fact that no one can walk a mile in another’s shoes. The shoes might be on our feet but the fit can never be replicated because of personal experience. What I do know is that if we can all just give one another the benefit of the doubt, assume the best in others, find the best within ourselves and those around us…we might all find ourselves in a better world.

Wanting.

I'm so tired of feeling as though I'm waiting to start my life over but realize I have more time to wait. I want to feel as though I can jump right into a new world - MY world. I want to engage...I want to live, to experience, to be covered in the mess offered by life. I want to have too many things to do and to have to juggle events in my life. I want to experience things...to have things happen, people to see, events to attend, places to go. I want the Dr. Seuss book "Oh The Places You'll Go" to narrate my life right now. You know...simple things in a simple life, offering so very much.

http://www.ibdeditorials.com/IBDArticles.aspx?id=333933226310500

This editorial (also on Gatesgate) reminds us all of what REALLY happened...a couple of people performed their civic duty.

What ever became of the Citizenship Award in school? The one to teach us all to aspire to be good, quality members of the community. Better yet - what happened to COMMUNITIES? A rant for another day...

A Lesson in Humility

http://www.theroot.com/views/accident-time-and-place

Earlier this week, I wrote of my appreciation for Henry Louis Gates and this column, effectively captures the spirit within his person. This is the Henry Louis Gates I've seen on discussion panels and appreciate so much. The entire column was less than I expected from him but culminated with a statement that sums up the real lesson learned. It reads: "Having spent my academic career trying to bridge differences and promote understanding among Americans, I can report that it is far more comfortable being the commentator than being commented upon. At this point, I am hopeful that we can all move on, and that this experience will prove an occasion for education, not recrimination. "

I think that pretty much says it all. The lesson learned? Humility.

Taste of Things to Come

http://www.whitehouse.gov/health-insurance-consumer-protections/

Good news - things are headed in the right direction but we're not there yet. Let's all hope this brings about changes in the entire health-care system, beyond that of simply providing care for those without or with less than adequate coverage. Here's hoping...

A Moment of Melancholy

Lately, I feel so great to have reconnected with old friends and some former boyfriends. In fact, I've been in touch with a few former boyfriends, each still offering me some level of comfort through our friendship and shared history. To know that people are still interested in my friendship after so many years is quite validating. Right now, I NEED validation.

I need to know that the past 35 years aren't a waste because right now, very little is left of my former life. I thought I'd been on the right track of moving forward and working toward making the right decisions, doing the right thing, and having things prioritized appropriately. I worked toward giving of myself so I might be open to receiving the wonderful things out there for me.

To Be Continued...

A Snapshot into Obama's Reality

Reblog from Meme, Myself, & I
http://essdogg.tumblr.com

essdogg:
Before He Was President, Mistaken for a Waiter: a 2003 Obama Meeting
I had a man over today installing our new cable line. When he finally got everything working and turned on the TV, it was on a news channel and the Cambridge PD press conference was on. The cable guy, who was black, said "You know, they need to leave that man alone. Look at the facts. Yeah, maybe he overreacted and there was some profiling there, but he's a cop, he gets a call, it's dark, it's a rich neighborhood, he's got to check it out. What's he gonna do, ignore it? Leave the man alone and let 'em take care of it in private."
I don't care to comment on whether I expected that reply because I'll sound stupid no matter what I say. But from what little I've read about the case and the officer and Gates, my cable guy was probably right. Overreactions all around. But why doesn't anyone talk about whoever it was that called the police? Because the upper-class isn't racist, right?
Anyway, it made me think of this article, which I read after Obama was elected.
Standing by myself I noticed, on the periphery of the party, a man looking as awkward and out-of-place as I felt. I approached him and introduced myself. He was an Illinois state senator who was running for the U.S. Senate. He was African American, one of a few black people in attendance.
We spoke at length about his campaign. He was charismatic in a quiet, solemn way. I told him I wanted to pitch a profile of him to a national magazine. (The magazine later rejected my proposal.)...
...But what I will always remember is as I was leaving that party in 2003, I was approached by another guest, an established author. He asked about the man I had been talking to. Sheepishly he told me he didn’t know that Obama was a guest at the party, and had asked him to fetch him a drink. In less than six years, Obama has gone from being mistaken for a waiter among the New York media elite, to the president-elect.
What a country.
Yes, what a country where even the white literary elite can be racist shitheads. Maybe Obama didn't "calibrate" his words properly. But let there be no question that he has experienced more casual racism in his life than we'll probably ever know. So maybe he deserves a pass.